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Dusk in Kalevia: Chapter 1 discussion

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #3191
    Lianne Sentar
    Keymaster

    This is the thread for discussion of Dusk in Kalevia Chapter 1, released in Issue #006 of Sparkler Monthly. Spoilers up to and including this point are expected, so beware!

    Rules of the forum are here. Only registered users on the Sparkler site can comment–which includes you if you have a paid subscription and are logged in–but newbies and casuals can sign up for a free registration now at http://sparklermonthly.com/membership-levels/

    #3203
    sgl
    Member

    Nice narrative voice. The writer has a style that lends itself to being read aloud. I rather like that there is something a nit manipulative about Toivo… Not much else to say except that this one interests me!

    #3311
    Serene
    Participant

    Wow, I really enjoyed the first chapter. I love Toivo so far, which is weird since I usually like the morally ambiguous and plain old crazy characters better. Characters in his kind of position, a naturally happy person who’s surrounded by extreme sadness and negativity, tend to either submit to the negativity and become cynical or be overly peppy. Toivo is neither, which gives him a very attractive or magnetic personality. It’s too early to say whether I’ll like Demyan, although as I said I tend to like that kind of character and I like what we’ve seen of him so far. I’ll admit though, I rolled my eyes when I saw his name. Naming the demon-ish guy Demyan is a bit… heavy-handed.

    I agree with sgl. The writing style is great. It’s engaging and flows really well, vivid without being excessively wordy.

    The first chapter came out at a great time of year as well. With a lot of people suffering from glacial weather, I’m sure many readers (myself included) could relate to the descriptions of the bitter cold. I noticed this with Dead Endings as well, but it’s much more prominent here (for obvious reasons).

    #3317
    gomidog
    Participant

    Yeah, lately the weather around here has certainly been serving as an inspiration for the northern winter! I was kinda struck by the number of times I used the descriptor “gray” in Chapter 2 while I was editing it–must be February.

    With Demyan, I just picked a Russian name that I liked, a variant on Damian, which seemed easy to pronounce and not too outlandish for the English speaker. (Some other names in the running were Aleksei, Viktor, and Volya.) Although I did worry that Damian was kind of a romance novel name, I feel really derpy for the fact that it didn’t occur to me while I was writing that it sounds not a little like “demon.” It was totally unintentional. Probably my subconscious chiming in “Yeah! That sounds like a good name for a character from the dark side!”

    I do hope you end up liking Demyan, though. Chapter two should come out in about a week!

    #3453
    Serene
    Participant

    Haha, I see. Speaking of pronunciations, how do you pronounce Kalvia? I’m not very familiar with anything Russian. Since it’s a transliterated language, am I correct to assume you pronounce it essentially how it looks? Like Toivo is pronounced “Toy-vo”?

    I can’t wait to read more, but I’ll have to wait a bit longer since I’m a free user.

    #3461
    gomidog
    Participant

    Actually, the linguistic references and names in the country of Kalevia (Kuh-leh-vi-uh) take mostly after Finnish/Karelian. (Demyan’s the only explicitly Russian character.) Here’s a handy reference guide for Finnish pronunciation, if you’re interested.
    Also, Toy-voh is a good approximation of his name. Here’s some of the others:
    Kaija = Kai-yuh
    Vesa = veh-suh

    #3472
    Tacto
    Member

    I love the name choice for Demyan. In fact, it is an old russian name, which became very rare in the urban areas in the 20th century. It gives a nice “ancient” vibe to the character, which is quite fitting, considering who he is :))) And it’s funny, the parallel with “demon” did not occur to me either, but I say it’s a bonus! :D
    Demyan definitely already commands attention and I already have a thing for him because of that particular description of how light always evades him. It is a very compelling theme.

    #4691
    foxnettle
    Participant

    Finally got to read this. So grabbing; makes me wish I didn’t have an apartment to pack into boxes right now–otherwise I’d down the rest of it pretty much immediately. I especially like the momentary tensions in the early parts, created by Toivo’s desire to kindle warmth in everyone he crosses paths with; those sort of mini-narratives pace the story nicely. And, of course, the second half was all one great blood-thrill. Also: I have a feeling Demyan’s going to be a favorite of mine, heh…

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