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Reply To: DNA-RW (short story)

#8501
corinthian
Participant

I liked this story. You did a good job of portraying Nel as somebody who has the kind of righteous anger to go after a criminal but isn’t mentally prepared for the consequences. The opening paragraph sets the scene well, and the agent in the restaurant was good for planting seeds for future stories in the same universe. It was just vague enough to go a lot of different ways. And I love a good pun, so the title was clever and appropriate.

My only negative comment is that the part at the end where Nel Read Amber’s DNA and knew they were distantly related seemed a little out of nowhere. Obviously Reading is part of the titular “RW,” but that use only come up prominently in the last few sentences. It could have used a prior reference, like maybe it was how Nel was able to find Asshole. Maybe she somehow got his DNA, but only enough to Read a basic physical description, and had to track Asshole based on that. It makes sense that she knows enough of her own DNA to recognize it in others, but Reading others would probably be less exact. This story goes more psychological than detective story though, but it’s something to think about.