Hi Brianwithcheese, thank you for pitching your story! Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re on the right track with this one–this premise simply feels too young for us. The main elements of this story are all so tied to YA and children’s literature that I think it would be very difficult to age the story up enough to work in Sparkler. I can see an adaptation of this premise working well as a story for kids, maybe, but it would be very hard to write it in a way that older teenagers or adults would enjoy.
Your pitch also doesn’t mention any story elements I haven’t heard many times before. You do leave things open enough that the specifics of the adventure could feel more innovative, but what you’ve told me here so far feels like treading the same ground as a hundred other stories written for elementary and middle school kids. We don’t have any problem with people using common tropes, but some element of your story needs to go beyond them.
Sorry to give you bad news, but you’re welcome to try another pitch here if you’d like. If you aren’t sure how to get away from that young-YA feel, I suggest forgetting about teenagers for now and trying to write something with adult characters.