Tokyo Demons: Book 3, Chapter 6, Part 1
Ayase’s own phone was still in her pocket, and she hadn’t heard anyone else’s go off. As Jo read his text message, his mouth thinning into a line, she wondered why he was getting messages that weren’t sent to the group. It was possible he was just hearing from the gangs, but somehow…Ayase doubted it.
As if in response, Jo clapped his phone shut. He settled back on the bed, the crease in his forehead slightly deeper than before.
Ayase waited for him to report what he’d read, but Jo didn’t say a thing. She glanced over at Sachi, who met her eyes.
Sachi took a breath. “Um…Jo,” he tried after a moment. “Did someone just text you on your Church phone?”
Jo grunted.
“Did you…hear anything? About our next mission?”
The muscles in Jo’s jaw twitched. “Nothing worth reporting.”
Sachi’s face fell. His expression–a depressing mix of frustration and loss–stoked the fireball building in Ayase’s gut. She felt the anger she’d been suppressing start to leak through the floodgates.
Sachi slowly got to his feet. “I’m gonna…go for a walk,” he murmured.
Shouri looked up from the TV screen as it emitted a comedic death cry. “The food’s gonna be here any minute–you need something other than those nutritional shakes in your system.”
“I know, and I won’t go far, I just…need to clear my head.” He gestured to the door. “I won’t leave the hallways on this floor. Please?”
Shouri frowned. “Keep your phone and keycard on you.”
Sachi picked his way across the littered room and opened the hallway door with a chak. He disappeared, leaving the door to softly close behind him.
For a long moment, the electronic grunts of the video game and the tapping of controller keys filled the quiet room. Ayase opened her mouth, the anger pushing the words up her throat.
“I want to say something,” she said thinly. “While Sachi’s gone, because he shouldn’t have to…deal with this.” She swallowed.
“I think using Touya to find the Pitch is a horrible plan.”
Jo sighed. “Noted,” he said flatly.
“I’m serious, Jo. It’s not going to work.”
Shouri didn’t even pause the video game. “Don’t have a lot of choice right now,” she said as she tapped. “We have no idea where the Pitch could be, so he’s our best lead.”
“He can see the future,” Ayase snapped, her anger growing with every word. “He’s beaten us every single time we’ve gone up against him. How the hell are we supposed to stalk him when he’ll see us coming?”
Jo waved a hand, but the action wasn’t casual. “Zayd has people on it.”
“What people? Is he still working with Nakajima? She couldn’t take down Touya before this, so why do you think she can handle this now?”
“Because…things changed.”
“What things? We need details, Jo!”
“You act as if Zayd gave me details,” Jo retorted. “You’ve been getting the same group texts that I have.”
“But we’re not getting all those extra messages that go straight to you,” Ayase replied icily.
Jo twitched. He swung his head away.
“If Zayd-san or Nakajima has some way of tracking Touya down while he’s detoxing, then good. Good. He’s way too dangerous for us to just leave alone.” Ayase growled. “But the minute they see Touya, they should do everything in their power to stop him. He’s a murderer. We can’t keep him on a leash–he’ll rip right through it to get what he wants.”
Jo rubbed his temples. “I get what you’re saying,” he murmured. “But…if we just take Touya out, and someone else in Core finds the Pitch, then Core might rebuild. This entire nightmare could repeat itself.”
“It’s not about which option is worse,” Ayase argued, her voice rising in volume. “It’s about which option we might actually succeed at. And there’s no way we can follow Touya just close enough to get the Pitch before he does. He’ll get it and we’ll have nothing! He’ll hold all the cards again!”
“At least Touya won’t rebuild Core,” Jo said through his teeth.
“We don’t know that! We don’t know what that monster will do with–”
“I know you want to kill him for what he did, Ayase!” Jo suddenly yelled. “And I know you’re still blaming yourself for not saving Kado, but you have to let it go! Let me handle this!”
Ayase froze, dumbfounded, a scream lodged halfway up her throat. Kiyoshi finally straightened by her side, shock written across his face.
“Jo,” he breathed. “How could you…”
As hot rage spilled over inside Ayase, she heard Shouri curse in English. The older woman finally dropped her controller.
“All right, all right. Both of you have to calm down.” Shouri climbed to her feet. “None of this is up to us. Zayd made the final call.”
Ayase strangled on her own breath. “I-it should be up to us! We’re the ones who actually went up against Touya!”
“Ayase–”
“No! I’m sick of this!” She struggled on her half-missing legs, clawing at Kiyoshi’s shirt to sit upright. “Either we’re strong enough to make our own decisions, or we’re not strong enough to fight at all. It’s one or the other. And since we fought and died trying to deal with this ourselves, we should get to finish it the way we think is right.”
Jo, finally, turned his head back to Ayase. Hints of red started to encroach across the whites of his eyes.
“And you think killing Touya is the right way to end this?” he asked.
Ayase clenched her fists and snarled, “I think stopping Touya is the right way to end this.”
Shouri sighed. “We all want to stop Touya, Ayase. It’s just a matter of when.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” Ayase insisted. “Our only real chance is our first chance! We’ll miss that if we try to manipulate him–because we can’t manipulate him!”
Jo shook his head. “We can,” he insisted, his voice softening slightly. “Trust me.”
“How can I trust you?!” Ayase demanded. “You won’t even confess to having something to confess to!”
Jo shriveled at that, his shoulders hunching inward. He grimaced and rubbed his face with his hands.
Shouri sighed again and grabbed her laptop from its place on the desk. “Can we just agree to cross the Touya bridge when we come to it?” she asked. “This is all theoretical until we find him, anyway. Jo, you need to admit that the plan sounds dicey. Ayase, you need to admit that your totally justified anger is probably skewing your opinion.” She crossed the room and sat in Sachi’s abandoned space on the bed, next to Ayase.
Ayase growled, but Shouri’s lips twitched into a smile. “Here–I’m gonna show you something,” the woman said as her fingers clacked on the keyboard. “Last night, after forwarding my leads to Zayd, I started dicking around on weird 2 A.M. hunches. I can’t even tell you what ass-backwards chain of clicks made me stumble on this.” She selected something on the trackpad.
An image popped up on the screen–it looked like a photo or scan of an old newspaper page. A large article was dedicated to a spring festival, complete with scattered photos of a parade.
Shouri zoomed in on one of the photos. “Look at this,” she drawled, “and tell me that’s not who I think it is.”
Ayase squinted at the young boy in festival clothes, his hands clasped around a bouquet of roses. He stood beside a dancer in some clearly staged shot for the paper; the boy smiled politely, but there was something insincere and chilling about that smile.
Like a softer version of the grin that plagued Ayase’s nightmares.
“Is that…Touya?!” she hissed.
Jo and Adam were suddenly crowding the bed, twisting around Shouri so they could see the screen. “How old is this newspaper?” Jo breathed.
“May of 1993–almost exactly nine years ago. Touya just turned eighteen, so he’d be, what…eight or nine here?” She tapped the photo on the screen. “We know Zero totally reinvented Touya’s identity, but it looks like Touya’s always had that mole on his chin. Should’ve had it removed, dude!” she added with a mocking laugh.
Ayase’s eyes flew to the caption below the photo.
Parade performer Aiko Shimizu and festival-goer Junichi-kun.
“Junichi,” Kiyoshi read aloud in amazement. “Oh, man… Is that his real name?”
“Unfortunately,” Shouri admitted, “there’s no last name listed, and this was the Rose Festival in Fukuyama. With the number of tourists that thing draws, he could’ve just been visiting.”
Adam paused. “Fukuyama?” he repeated. “Is where?”
“Way down south, in Hiroshima Prefecture.” Shouri turned her head and switched to English, but Ayase could understand most of it–both through the words and the muted look that washed over Adam’s face.
Near where America dropped the bomb.
Ayase stared at that little boy. At the bare hands untainted by Pitch, the hair styled neatly behind his ears…and the crisp, expensive festival clothes tailored perfectly to his small frame. The sharp look in his eyes pierced Ayase through the glowing computer screen.
Like he was challenging her through space and time.
Ayase sat back on the bed, her hands closing into fists. “Junichi,” she said slowly, rolling the word over in her mouth.
Shouri shut the computer screen. “I sent out some inquiries this morning to try to look into this, but I didn’t do it through Zayd or Nakajima. Both because I don’t wanna trip up their investigation if this leads to a dead end, and, well…” She smiled darkly. “Because you kids deserve a little secret of your own.”
Jo’s phone buzzed. He dug it out of his pocket, but Ayase’s heart had already started to pound. She knew what was coming.
Sure enough, Jo’s face tightened when he read the message. His eyes flicked up and caught her own.
“Shinbashi,” he said. “Not far from the clinic we raided. They just saw…Touya leave a walk-up apartment.”
Kiyoshi took a breath. “Here we go,” he murmured.
To be continued in Chapter 6, Part 2.







I love how the adult in the situation is being scolded by the teenagers.
Moral of the story: when you’re a dick, even young people will be mad at you! :D
Fabulous writing! :D
Even though I am aware this is a rewriting (at least this is what it sounds like on the website), I am really quite impressed by the pacing! Apart form one page in a chapter in either book one or two, which was told form Ayase’s perspective (I’m sorry, I couldn’t find it anymore) the pacing of the story is very even and has an extremely good flow.
Having worked on a story for around 9 years myself (sadly still without anything to show for it, in terms of actual writing) I think I have learned an important lesson.
Tokyo Demons has made me realize how much a story can profit from well timed reveals that don’t result in awkward cliffhangers, where one story arch is finished and the other has barely, if at all, begun yet. A bigger overlap seems to be a good idea. Makes the whole of the plot seem far less forced.
Of course, in order for this to work, there has to be loads of foreshadowing, which you also did very well.
Some of the outcomes were predictable (like Touya’s ability) others not so much, but all of them had a beautifully crafted path leading up to them.
And I also like that you know when *not* to give us any leads to subtly give the plot a little peak!
Apart form the pacing, I enjoy how you handle the different characters’ perspectives.
For example, that Ayase calls Kadoyuki Kadoyuki, but Jo calls him Kado. It is also a great technique for characterization. Which I shall have to praise in a bit ;)
It is really neat that you don’t simply give up information between the two main characters but make them work for it.
As you have probably been told many a times, the characterization work you do is great! I like how you manage to really intertwine the lives of all your characters, but keep them separate at the same time! That you allow each of them to grow in a different, distinct way! Although the area of growth of one character might not be in conflict with another character’d development, they also don’t strictly enhance each other and leave plenty of room for interaction that is not ‘harmonious’ and ‘uniform’.
Thumbs up for that!
I must confess, that although I enjoy every single one of your characters, I especially like reading Jo’s perspective. The last few chapters only made this more clear.
I like how you make all of the group slowly grow together, him opening up very cautiously, only to find he needs to close himself off from the others again.
Very, very nice character development all around! :D
On that note I also really like that you include a little backstory or snippet form other character’s point of view at the beginning of each chapter!
May I ask what made you think of it?
Last, and in this case probably least: I just *can’t* stop myself from shipping Jo and Kiyoshi!
And if you don’t stop the nasty little hints, I will go spare and/or insane! D:
*huff*
Anyway, good work!
Oh, yeah, I’m also still curious if Jo has a proper, physical Malum trait. Surely being kind of difficult to keep from sensitive information or having a strong gut feeling can’t be it. That could also be experience and learned attentiveness!
(But I’ll be content with whatever you throw us, at the end.)
Wow, how did I miss this? You wrote it in December! I’m so sorry! ;_;
Thank you so much for your kind comments. <3 Nah, Tokyo Demons isn't a rewrite - it's an original story, just in the style of a Japanese light novel. Rewriting is my other job, and in that case, I work on translations of manga and light novels from Japan. This book was my attempt to write my own with a bevy of Western influences. (I love cultural hybrid works.)
To answer your questions:
-I wanted to be really militant about perspective/POV in this story, since a lot of the plot points are related to perception and the intertwined growth of Ayase and Jo. The backstory snippets (at the beginning of each chapter) were just so I could have a tiny chance to reveal some of the other characters’ thoughts, and to clarify some stuff that happens “off-screen.” That became especially important in Vol 3 because of the parallel plot line with Touya, so making the alternate perspective in Vol 3 his and his alone… It let him finally step into his role as 3rd main character (villain). He was just kinda lurking around the edges of the plot before that, on purpose. :)
-Yeah, Jo has a proper Malum trait, it just hasn’t been revealed yet. It’s central to the plot of Tokyo Ghosts (the series after TD Book 3 ends).
Jo and Kiyoshi is a quality ship, thumbs-up to that. On that note, you might like this.
By the way – I liked your notes on pacing and characterization here, and it’s clear you’re that you’re a writer. If you’re a Sparkler member, we did a series of essays about the creative process called “Sparkler School” that you can download free here. You might find them helpful when you work on your own stuff? I did the essays on storytelling and dialogue.
Thanks again. <3