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Tokyo Demons: Book 3, Chapter 6, Part 1

Ayase stopped flicking past channels with the TV remote. She turned up the volume, pulled her giant comforter up to her chin, and drained her third can of coffee.

“Shoppers had a scare last night at an indoor shopping center in Nakano,” the newscaster said. Under her disembodied voice, the screen flashed footage outside the mall to police officers inside the building. “A lone gunman took a child hostage at a family restaurant, but he was quickly subdued by restaurant staff and restrained until the arrival of police. The gunman had no demands, and appeared to be ill; police suspect he was intoxicated in some way.”

Ayase watched the camera zoom in on the “assailant.” He was a skinny man in his thirties whom Ayase had never seen before, and he looked a lot worse than the newscaster implied–the guy was pale, sweaty, and had to be hefted up by officers to stay on his feet. He was mumbling while his eyes rolled around in his skull, and his clothes were smeared with what looked like body fluids.

“Police believe he was acting on his own,” the newscaster continued as the officers dragged the man across the mall, “and that there’s no further threat to citizens in the area. The shopping center is scheduled to reopen in a matter of hours.”

Come on, Ayase thought, squinting at the screen. The police hefted the man across the camera’s frame…and right before the image switched, someone shoved up the man’s sleeve to adjust his handcuffs.

Revealing Pitch veins.

Ayase crushed the empty can in her hand.

“Whoa,” Kiyoshi blurted from the bathroom, his voice echoing against tile. “Is that a Core op?”

Ayase glanced at the bathroom; Kiyoshi had opened the door to peek out at the TV. Steam wafted out around him, but not enough to obscure the fact that he wore nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips.

She twitched, and he seemed to notice–for once. The door closed, fabric shuffled, and he left the bathroom a moment later in a hastily thrown-on shirt and sweatpants.

Ayase turned back to the TV as he sat on the other end of her huge bed. “Yeah,” she replied at last. “They’re talking about it on a few stations. He took a hostage, but didn’t get very far.”

“In a mall? In the middle of the day? That doesn’t sound like Core.” Kiyoshi toweled his sopping hair, sending a few droplets across the comforter. He quickly wiped them away with his hand.

“Sorry, am I getting you wet?”

“No,” Ayase replied evenly.

“Thanks for letting me use your bath… Jo takes forever.” He paused, then smiled at her. “It’s good to see you awake.”

She pointedly tossed the crushed coffee can into a nearby wastebasket. “I’m sick of sleeping.”

“Nn.” Kiyoshi hesitated for a moment, his mouth opening as if to say something…but then he closed his mouth again and went back to drying his hair.

After an awkward pause, Ayase sighed. She snapped off the television; in the new silence, she heard muffled voices through the attached door to Sachi’s room. The sounds were muted enough that she couldn’t tell who was talking, but hearing that nearby presence was soothing, honestly.

“Hatsumi-san warned us about this,” Ayase said to Kiyoshi at last. “That if the new Core leadership didn’t straighten itself out, members were going to start detoxing. Maybe publicly.”

“Yeah. That guy was definitely detoxing.” Kiyoshi frowned. “I dunno why he thought taking a hostage would help, though? I mean…he had to know that was just gonna get him arrested.”

Ayase’s brain, finally absorbing the caffeine, churned through a realization. “Maybe…that’s what he wanted.”

“Huh?”

“Maybe he wanted to get arrested. To end up in jail.”

Kiyoshi turned to her, slowly lowering the towel into his lap. “Holy crap… Nakajima’s been giving people the cure in jail.”

Ayase grabbed her Church phone from the bedside table. She flipped it open and scrolled through the recent group messages.

Sure enough, there was one from Emi warning that Core members might try to raid the police station, if they had no access to Pitch. There was another from Zayd, assuring her that what remained of Core wasn’t powerful enough to take on the police directly.

Ayase scrolled down to the final message, sent from Hatsumi.

I think the streets are about to get ugly. Be careful.

Ayase relayed the message to Kiyoshi. “Did I miss anything else?” she asked. “While I was sleeping?”

“No. We’re still waiting for instructions.” Kiyoshi balled up the damp towel in both hands. “The Church said we need to take this time to recuperate. They’re being kinda pushy about it.”

Ayase grimaced. “You can’t order someone to relax,” she said sourly.

“Yeah, I know. It’s weird.” He fidgeted with the towel again. “Shouri-san explained it as, like…deflating our stress in case the Church has to send us out on another mission. If Core doesn’t just implode, I mean.” He finally rested the towel on the bedside table. “I guess the Church is being super careful now.”

Ayase rubbed her sinuses. Another mission, she thought darkly. Another stage of that plan Jo mentioned.

The abysmal, infuriating plan of using Touya to find the Pitch.

“Ayase?”

Ayase opened her eyes. Kiyoshi was staring at her from the other side of the bed, something unreadable dancing through his gaze.

The thick, violent hatred of Touya retreated to the pit of Ayase’s stomach for a moment–and she just stared back at Kiyoshi, waiting for him to continue.

But he didn’t. He let out a breath, his beautiful eyes flicking away, and dug his fingers into the comforter before leaning away from her. The silence stretched between them like the vastness of that bed.

“…”

Ayase wouldn’t ask. She’d sworn to herself, over and over, that it wasn’t fair to pry, and that it could lead to an answer she didn’t want to hear. So she pressed her lips together and swallowed the words that burned her tongue.

What did Sachi talk to you about?

Muffled laughter suddenly bled in from the other side of the door, softening the tension in the room. Kiyoshi rubbed his face and pushed still-damp bangs from his eyes.

“Okay,” he said, as if convincing himself. “Okay. They sound like they’re having fun in there, so we should…go.” He flashed a small smile at her. “How are your legs?”

Ayase cleared her throat. “Better,” she replied as she pushed back her bedcovers.

Kiyoshi’s eyes trailed down her legs, both aborted above the knee. “Do you need some help?”

“Y-yeah. Thank you.”

Kiyoshi got to his feet, walked to her side of the bed, and knelt down beside her. She carefully climbed onto his back.

When he gripped her thighs and stood, her arms automatically folded around his neck. She leaned her weight closer to his broad back as he shifted her into place.

His clothes were damp to the touch, and he still radiated the warmth of the bath. His slight grunt rumbled through his diaphragm to vibrate against her chest.

Sudden affection washed through her, like a tide that buoyed her heart. Emboldened by the silence in the room, she tightened her arms around his neck, tucked her nose against his shoulder, and buried herself in his soapy scent.

“Thank you,” she breathed.

She felt his muscles harden under her, then soften. When he didn’t speak, she took advantage of the moment to close her eyes.

She felt…better. Calmer. Some of the knots in her stomach began to unravel as the closeness of his body drained out the fear.

Kiyoshi gently twisted his head back until her eyelashes fluttered against his cheek.

“Ready?” he whispered.

The lull of voices beckoned through the door. After a long moment, Ayase nodded.

Kiyoshi nudged her head with his and softly kissed her jaw. Then he took a long breath, a hint of a wistful sigh under it, and carried her to the door.

Ayase started to recognize one of the muffled voices as Shouri’s. Sure enough, when Kiyoshi pushed the door open, Ayase saw Shouri talking to Adam and Sachi in their room. Even Jo was there, sitting on the bed with a soda can in his hand.

The place was…getting messy. Somebody had hooked up a game system to the television set, and snack bags and empty cans littered the dark carpeting. Shouri beamed when Kiyoshi carried Ayase in.

“Rise and shine!” she cooed. “We’re getting room service. What do you want?”

Kiyoshi lowered Ayase onto one of the made beds–next to Sachi. Sachi smiled weakly and pushed aside a pile of games and comics to make room for the two of them to sit.

“Good morning,” he said, and he sounded sincere.

Ayase smiled back. Sachi was fully dressed and had a book in his hand, and seemed…a little more relaxed? Maybe? He’d put some sort of product in his hair, giving his lazy spikes a little more definition than she’d seen in ages. She hoped that was a good sign.

“Room service?” she repeated at last. “What’s that?”

The smile fell from Shouri’s face. Her eyes widened in what looked like horror.

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “I’ve never felt more sorry for you kids than I do right now.”

Jo scowled into his can and plucked the menu from Shouri’s hands. “Most of us know what room service is,” he said flatly. “It’s just lunch delivery, Ayase.”

“Oh.” Ayase’s stomach grumbled. “Uh…good.”

Kiyoshi beamed. “Let’s get a lot–Ayase eats like crazy when she’s regenerating. Hey, can we get meat?”

Adam seemed to recognize that word. “Pig!” he said in thickly accented Japanese.

Shouri grabbed the room’s landline phone off its receiver. “Look who’s using his vocab words!” she drawled, the praise soured with sarcasm. “I hope that means he’s trying to communicate with you, Sachi.”

“Um…a little,” Sachi murmured. “But it’s hard. I wish I wasn’t so terrible at English.”

“It’s great that you’re terrible at English! Adam’s so freaking lazy about practicing his Japanese that this might be the only way to get him to start.” She punched a few numbers into the phone. “So maybe I had ulterior motives for rooming him with you. Put him to work.”

Adam looked at Shouri expectantly. She tucked the phone against her shoulder and pointed at him.

“You,” she said in Japanese, forgoing her usual translation. “You’ve been in Japan for over a year. Get your linguistic shit together.”

Sachi smiled a little at that, but there was awkwardness underneath. His eyes lowered to the floor as he absently stroked his cheek.

Shouri switched the phone from one ear to the other. “Yeah, hello?” she said into the receiver. “This is room ten twenty-six. I’d like to order one of everything for room service.”

Jo looked up from the paper menu, surprised.

“You heard me. Yup.” Shouri paused. “I’m feeding a lot of mouths here,” she said into the phone. “What’s it to you? We’ve got a fridge for leftovers.” She paused again, and her face twisted. “Then yeah, bring all of those, too. Bring the whole cow if you have to. I’m not trying to trick you–I want the whole damn menu!”

Ayase could see Jo shrivel in embarrassment, but she was suddenly too hungry to care. Now that she was paying attention to it, her empty stomach felt like a howling cavern. Her body throbbed for more fuel to heal.

The whole cow, Ayase thought. Suddenly dizzied by that idea, she grabbed an unopened snack bag from elsewhere on the bed and tore it open.

They were warned that the food would “take a while,” so Adam turned the game system back on. Ayase practically inhaled two bags of chips and some dried squid while Adam tapped his way through some fighting game with Shouri. The flashy, battling characters on the screen were weirdly riveting…even Jo seem absorbed, lounging on the other bed.

Tokyo Demons Book 3: Chapter 6, Part 1

“If any of you wanna play,” Shouri said to the room as she tapped furiously, “just say the word.”

Adam nodded. “Play, play,” he repeated in Japanese. “Who is last?”

“Who is next,” Shouri corrected.

“Oh, okay. Next.” Adam smiled as he tapped the controller. “Who is next? Game is fun. Play.”

Kiyoshi unscrewed a bottle of tea. “You guys look like you’ve…played this one a lot,” he commented as the characters blazed across the screen.

“The Church put us in a shitty cabin in the mountains of Hokkaido for thirteen months. Had to pass the time somehow.” Shouri lazily swung her legs. “Adam thinks practice makes perfect, but I’ve got a Malum brain. His puny human reflexes can’t beat mine.” As if to emphasize her point, she punched Adam’s avatar off a cliff.

Adam laughed. “Goodbye, dead now. Next, play, pig, hotel. Hospital, bathroom, I am hungry, I am sleeping.”

Jo squinted. “Is he just rattling off all the Japanese he knows?”

“Let him practice,” Shouri insisted. “God, he never put in any effort in Hokkaido. What did you do to him, Sachi?”

Sachi looked up from his book. “Huh?”

Adam booted up a new level. “How much money to buy? Here is my passport. Where to the train station?” He smiled and tapped his controller. “My name is Adam, and I like cock.”

Ayase gave a start, her teeth halfway through a cookie. “What did he just say?” she coughed.

Adam contentedly continued his Japanese as he selected a character on the screen. “I want to go to a restaurant. What time is it? What is weather like now? My name is Adam, and I like cock.”

Jo finally sat up, his brow furrowing. “Adam-san…you’re getting something wrong in that last one.”

Adam glanced back at Jo, and he seemed to understand what Jo was getting at. “Oh, sorry, sorry,” Adam said in polite embarrassment. “My name is Adam, and I like cock in my mouth.

Shouri, sniggering, suddenly burst into laughter. “Oh my God, Adam!” she wheezed. “Please tell me you’ve been using that one around Daniel!”

Ayase put down the cookie, slightly horrified, as Shouri cackled her way through the character select screen. “I told him that means ‘nice to meet you’!” Shouri howled.

Kiyoshi’s mouth fell open. “He’s seriously been saying that to people? When he meets them?”

“Man, I hope so!”

“Shouri-san,” Sachi protested.

“Eh,” she said breezily as she tapped her controller. “It’s true, though.”

“What’s true?” Kiyoshi asked.

Shouri didn’t answer, instead switching to English. Ayase couldn’t make out what Shouri said to Adam, but it probably wasn’t a correction, since Adam smiled and flashed a thumbs-up at the room.

Somebody’s phone buzzed; Jo dug a hand into his pocket. He sat up on the bed and flipped his Church mobile open.

Proceed to Chapter 6, Part 1, page 3–>

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Comments (5)
  1. sparkly-eyed smiley *_*

    Fabulous writing! :D

    Even though I am aware this is a rewriting (at least this is what it sounds like on the website), I am really quite impressed by the pacing! Apart form one page in a chapter in either book one or two, which was told form Ayase’s perspective (I’m sorry, I couldn’t find it anymore) the pacing of the story is very even and has an extremely good flow.
    Having worked on a story for around 9 years myself (sadly still without anything to show for it, in terms of actual writing) I think I have learned an important lesson.
    Tokyo Demons has made me realize how much a story can profit from well timed reveals that don’t result in awkward cliffhangers, where one story arch is finished and the other has barely, if at all, begun yet. A bigger overlap seems to be a good idea. Makes the whole of the plot seem far less forced.
    Of course, in order for this to work, there has to be loads of foreshadowing, which you also did very well.
    Some of the outcomes were predictable (like Touya’s ability) others not so much, but all of them had a beautifully crafted path leading up to them.
    And I also like that you know when *not* to give us any leads to subtly give the plot a little peak!

    Apart form the pacing, I enjoy how you handle the different characters’ perspectives.
    For example, that Ayase calls Kadoyuki Kadoyuki, but Jo calls him Kado. It is also a great technique for characterization. Which I shall have to praise in a bit ;)
    It is really neat that you don’t simply give up information between the two main characters but make them work for it.
    As you have probably been told many a times, the characterization work you do is great! I like how you manage to really intertwine the lives of all your characters, but keep them separate at the same time! That you allow each of them to grow in a different, distinct way! Although the area of growth of one character might not be in conflict with another character’d development, they also don’t strictly enhance each other and leave plenty of room for interaction that is not ‘harmonious’ and ‘uniform’.
    Thumbs up for that!

    I must confess, that although I enjoy every single one of your characters, I especially like reading Jo’s perspective. The last few chapters only made this more clear.
    I like how you make all of the group slowly grow together, him opening up very cautiously, only to find he needs to close himself off from the others again.
    Very, very nice character development all around! :D
    On that note I also really like that you include a little backstory or snippet form other character’s point of view at the beginning of each chapter!
    May I ask what made you think of it?

    Last, and in this case probably least: I just *can’t* stop myself from shipping Jo and Kiyoshi!
    And if you don’t stop the nasty little hints, I will go spare and/or insane! D:
    *huff*

    Anyway, good work!

    • sparkly-eyed smiley *_*

      Oh, yeah, I’m also still curious if Jo has a proper, physical Malum trait. Surely being kind of difficult to keep from sensitive information or having a strong gut feeling can’t be it. That could also be experience and learned attentiveness!
      (But I’ll be content with whatever you throw us, at the end.)

      • Lianne Sentar Lianne Sentar

        Wow, how did I miss this? You wrote it in December! I’m so sorry! ;_;

        Thank you so much for your kind comments. <3 Nah, Tokyo Demons isn't a rewrite - it's an original story, just in the style of a Japanese light novel. Rewriting is my other job, and in that case, I work on translations of manga and light novels from Japan. This book was my attempt to write my own with a bevy of Western influences. (I love cultural hybrid works.)

        To answer your questions:

        -I wanted to be really militant about perspective/POV in this story, since a lot of the plot points are related to perception and the intertwined growth of Ayase and Jo. The backstory snippets (at the beginning of each chapter) were just so I could have a tiny chance to reveal some of the other characters’ thoughts, and to clarify some stuff that happens “off-screen.” That became especially important in Vol 3 because of the parallel plot line with Touya, so making the alternate perspective in Vol 3 his and his alone… It let him finally step into his role as 3rd main character (villain). He was just kinda lurking around the edges of the plot before that, on purpose. :)

        -Yeah, Jo has a proper Malum trait, it just hasn’t been revealed yet. It’s central to the plot of Tokyo Ghosts (the series after TD Book 3 ends).

        Jo and Kiyoshi is a quality ship, thumbs-up to that. On that note, you might like this.

        By the way – I liked your notes on pacing and characterization here, and it’s clear you’re that you’re a writer. If you’re a Sparkler member, we did a series of essays about the creative process called “Sparkler School” that you can download free here. You might find them helpful when you work on your own stuff? I did the essays on storytelling and dialogue.

        Thanks again. <3