Tokyo Demons Book 1: Chapter 8

Ayase turned off the faucet, cutting off the hollow echo of water flooding the drain. In the calm silence, she looked up into the bathroom mirror.

Her reflection stared steadily back at her. A few flyaways stuck out from her hair, dark threads crossed and dangling from her unadventurous haircut. She absently smoothed them down.

Ayase didn’t look in the mirror much. There was something about examining her skin or clothes too closely that made her supremely uncomfortable. If she was clean and covered, fine. She didn’t want to care more than that.

And yet she could tell, now, that something was different about her. She couldn’t put her finger on it. It was something about her complexion, maybe? Or had the creases in her brow softened? As she stared at herself, wondering what had changed, she suddenly realized what she was doing.

Looking in the mirror and caring.

Ayase let out a breath through her nose. She lowered her eyes to the sink, pushing that realization to the back of her mind. She forced herself to return to her earlier conversation.

“Nakajima gave him…handcuffs.”

Ayase swallowed. She stood there a moment, deliberating, before throwing open the bathroom door.

The hallway was empty. Ayase could hear talking from the other rooms, mostly the kitchen. She quietly picked her way through the hall and toward the sick room; the door had been left open a crack, allowing her a sliver of visibility. She carefully leaned in.

Emi had left at some point, although a light jacket of hers still rested on the back of an abandoned chair. Adam lay on his back on a futon, snoring quietly as a wet towel rested across his forehead. And Kadoyuki, lying in the single medical bed, had curled up to face the opposite wall.

From Ayase’s position, she couldn’t see handcuffs attached to any part of the hospital bed. Kadoyuki stirred slightly, although it was hard to tell if he just shifted in sleep. Ayase strained her ears.

…No, he was whispering something. And there was a slight, metallic clinking near the hands bunched up in front of him.

Ayase’s stomach clenched. Was he handcuffed? A strange compulsion overcame her–she suddenly, desperately, needed to know. Emboldened by her desire, she released a single insect into the room and pulled back into the hallway. She pressed her back to the wall, closed her eyes, and sent her insect to walk silently across the sick room.

The blurry perspective from the floor closed in on Kadoyuki. His whispering was indistinct through her antennae, but she still heard it. He was definitely awake. She avoided Adam’s futon and looped around the bed, trying to edge near Kadoyuki without drawing attention. He was curled up around his hands, and she could see something…silver wrapped around them. Her heart sunk.

Zayd handcuffed him, she thought in despair.

Kadoyuki’s eyes flew open. His head lifted, snapping his gaze to Ayase’s single insect.

She froze. For a long second, she and Kadoyuki stared at each other, her defensive thoughts overlapping in panic. Did he recognize the bug as her? Did she have an excuse for spying on him?! As Kadoyuki furrowed his brow and uncurled from his hands, she noticed, despite her fuzzy vision, that the trail of silver was looped around his fingers.

It couldn’t be handcuffs. It almost looked like…a necklace. With silver beads. And the long, thin pendant on the end…

A cross.

Kadoyuki’s rhythmic whispering suddenly made sense. After spending her life with nuns, Ayase knew what rosary beads looked like.

And he’s not handcuffed, she thought, sudden relief flooding through her.

BANG BANG BANG

Ayase’s human eyes popped open. The pounding came from down the hall. Squashing the concern of leaving her insect where it was, she ran down the hallway, turning the single corner to the church’s back door.

BANG BANG BANG

There was someone outside. Ayase tensed defensively, her body ready to burst. She heard yelling from elsewhere in the church as footsteps slapped toward the hallway.

Something clicked near the doorknob, and the door swung open.

A hooded stranger sauntered inside. Ayase froze as the man turned to her, a wicked smile curling his pierced face.

“Sorry to intrude,” he drawled.

Heat raced through Ayase, sending cracks along the cells in her body.

Jo suddenly ran in through the door. His head snapped to Ayase.

“It’s okay!” he blurted as he slammed the door shut.

Ayase stopped in surprise. Her body locked back into its single form.

Daniel flew around the corner, grabbing the wall as his slippers slid on the hardwood. He widened his eyes as Zayd ran up behind him.

The hooded stranger smiled. “Donald!” he exclaimed in triumph. “Damn, you are white. Nakajima sent me.”

Daniel furrowed his brow. “Nakajima?” he repeated. His eyes fell to Jo.

“I let myself in. Your lock is shit.” The man grabbed a briefcase in Jo’s arms. “That old bag told me this place’s secure, but not from where I’m standing.”

Almost as an apology, Jo re-locked the back door. “This is Takeshi,” he explained. “The…head of Byakko Core was looking for.”

Zayd leaned in from behind Daniel. “Nakajima’s contact,” he said quietly.

Realization dawned on Daniel’s face. “This way,” he murmured, gesturing toward the hallway. Once Takeshi passed him, Daniel took a moment to rub Jo’s head before following Takeshi toward the kitchen.

Jo stopped.

Ayase forced her muscles to unclench, her adrenaline dwindling. As everyone ahead of them disappeared down the hallway, Ayase watched Jo stand there, almost confused, as his hands curled into fists. He didn’t follow.

“Jo?” she asked.

He snapped to attention and turned to her. He didn’t seem as shaken as he had that morning, but there was still a haunted look to his eyes.

“I…I ran into him,” he explained. “Someone told me to…” He swallowed, then lowered his voice. “I don’t actually know him.”

“Nakajima said she told someone to find us,” Ayase explained. “Where did you get him?”

Jo swallowed again. Instead of answering, he averted his eyes.

It didn’t matter. “Never mind,” she said, absently wondering if that would relieve him.

Jo unclenched his fists and headed for the kitchen. Ayase followed.

Sachi, Kiyoshi, and Emi were already there, watching in lurid fascination as Takeshi stripped off his dark hoodie. The bleached hair under that hood was spiked dramatically, a cluster of tall crystals barely wilted from the crushing fabric. The piercings along his face and ears didn’t do much to distract from the scattered scars and tattooes revealed by his sleeveless tee-shirt–especially the image of a snarling white tiger inked along his entire left arm. The man looked like an exaggerated punk stereotype from cautionary newscasts.

The man caught eyes with Emi, then grinned broadly. He made a V with his fingers and waggled a forked tongue between them.

Emi actually jumped. She grabbed her heart as Daniel scraped a chair at Takeshi.

“What happened to your tongue?” he asked. Curiosity lit up his face. “Unless…you were born with that?”

Takeshi ignored the chair. “Had it done when I was 18,” he explained. “You like it?” He raised his eyebrows at Emi again. “Girls tell me it feels amazing on their–”

“Takeshi,” Jo interrupted. “What’s in the briefcase?”

Takeshi laughed and threw the briefcase on the kitchen table. It was a high-pitched laugh, screechy and alien in the quiet room. It sent a shiver down Ayase’s spine.

“I was getting to that,” he purred at Jo. “Unclench your ass and that stick’ll slide right out, sweetheart.” He glanced around the room. “You guys some sorta Battle Christians? Trying to take out Core for Jesus?”

Sachi furrowed his brow. “Uh…who are you again?”

“Takeshi. I was the boss of Byakko for four years before Core fucked that up.”

Daniel’s interest visibly increased. “And Core was looking for you. Is that why Core attacked Kiseki?”

The smile melted off Takeshi’s face. His eyes dropped to the table, suddenly reserved.

“Maybe,” he said evenly. “I left so Byakko wouldn’t get dragged into my shit. But Core still cut up Miki and caved in my brother’s skull.”

Ayase waited. Takeshi sighed and waved a hand.

“Two years ago, a few of my boys got arrested for loitering outside a bank. Some tightass banker complained enough that the cops showed up–and since Byakko doesn’t play with pigs, they fought back. It got them thrown into juvie for ‘resisting arrest’ or some shit. Juvie, for sitting on a sidewalk! And that sniveling little fuck from the bank followed the whole thing and made sure they got locked up, like he had nothing better to do than throw kids behind bars. He kept whining ‘They were gonna rob me, they were gonna rob me!’”

Takeshi snorted. “What was I supposed to do? Y’know that’s how society goes to shit, right? Arresting kids before they do anything? If we don’t fight back at a time like that, we’re gonna have government fingers up our asses everytime we walk down the street ’cause we might be thinking ‘thoughts against the nation.’ No, man–not okay.”

Daniel frowned. “Er…all right. So you did something, I presume.”

“Of course I did–I robbed that fucker blind.” Takeshi tapped a fist to his chest proudly. “Gotta keep The Man on his toes!”

Takeshi dropped the fist onto the briefcase. “But bank or no, that guy’s office had insane security. I got through a bunch of shit but still tripped some kinda silent alarm–I barely got out of there. And the only thing I found worth grabbing was this stupid briefcase.” He let out an irritated breath. “The cops picked me up a few days later, since the security system took my picture. Before I knew it they’d thrown me into some kinda solitary confinement, all hush-hush and suspicious as hell. That was when Nakajima came to see me, bringing back the briefcase. And she had crime scene photos with her…of that office I’d robbed, burned to the ground with the entire fucking bank, and that tightass banker a pile of ash in the middle.”

Takeshi undid the catch on the briefcase with a tiny click. “I just figured I’d grabbed the banker’s stash,” he said as he swung open the briefcase. “But she explained the fucking mine I’d accidentally stepped on.”

Ayase blinked.

Both halves of the velvet-lined briefcase were lined with tiny vials, arranged in neat little rows.

Kiyoshi choked. As Ayase’s mind dropped her back to a sterile medical room, Kiyoshi covered his mouth.

“Is that Pitch?” he breathed.

Jo’s head snapped to Kiyoshi. He ran over to the table as Daniel leaned in, eyes wide.

“A-are you kidding?” Jo grabbed Takeshi’s arm, pulling him back from the briefcase. “All of them?!”

Ayase knew, from her time with Kiyoshi, that each vial was probably a dose.

And there were dozens of them.

Emi ran to the counter and grabbed a box of latex gloves. She pulled on a pair as she crammed the box at Zayd.

“All of Nick-san’s research was based on a single dose he escaped with. And Pitch has likely changed, since he left when Core was in its early stages.” She carefully unstrapped a vial with her gloved fingers. She held it up to the light, staring at the clear glass incredulously.

“Nick-san took blood samples from Kiyoshi to try and isolate some compounds, since he was desperate for more material to test. He wasn’t optimistic. But this?” Desperate hope lit up her face and tugged at the edge of her lips. She swung her lit eyes to Kiyoshi. “And we can use it to wean you off, if we have to!”

Kiyoshi had gone very pale. Sachi reached out to him and gently gripped his shoulder.

Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe Nakajima never told me about this.” He lowered his voice, then murmured, “No wonder Core was so desperate to find you.”

Takeshi shrugged. “She told me my ass was dead if I stayed in Tokyo, but if I held onto the case for her, she’d help cover my trail. She said putting up my wanted poster everywhere would make it look like the police were after me, so Core would just wait for me to get dragged in…that if they went after me themselves, it would draw attention or some shit.” He growled slightly. “That hag said it was the only way to protect my boys. And then, after I slum around Osaka for two years, she calls me to say Ban is in a fucking coma.”

Zayd placed the box of gloves on the kitchen table. “Core became aggressive without warning,” he said quietly. “Many people were hurt.”

“Fuck that!” Takeshi slammed his fist on the table, making Ayase jump. He scowled, making his pierced face seem almost demonic.

“You churchies’re trying to fuck up Core, right? Take the Pitch. I never wanted that juicer shit, anyway.” He turned to Jo. “And you. If you’re really Byakko, you’ll help me gather up whoever’s left so we can teach those shitstains not to fuck with us.”

Jo’s mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything. He started stuttering out non-commitals as he glanced behind him.

“M-Miki said to keep you under the radar,” he said. “He’ll meet you at some old hide-out in three days, remember?”

Takeshi slammed the table again, and this time Jo jumped. Takeshi grabbed Jo by the shoulders and started shaking him violently.

“Fuck waiting!” he screeched. “This is goddamn war!”

Daniel tried to force an arm between them. “Calm down,” he pleaded. “Takeshi-kun, you can’t help your friends by running into a losing battle.”

Takeshi snorted at the priest. “I wasn’t planning to lose,” he spat.

“But you will. And you will waste the two years you were protecting the drugs.” Zayd took a long breath. “Core does not know where you are. And they do not know that the Pitch is in our hands–and that we will give it to Nick.”

Takeshi released Jo as he screwed his mouth to the side. “Who the fuck is Nick?” he asked.

“He’s been studying Pitch for years to try and find a way to combat it. He has an intricate list of things to test if he ever got ahold of another dose.” Realization dawned on Daniel’s face, and he turned to Zayd. “And Shouri!”

Zayd nodded. “If she is addicted to Pitch, we can use this to treat her.”

Ayase’s mind spun. Shouri? Was that the hacker Adam was protecting, the one Nick thought had been kidnapped by Core right before Kiyoshi? Ayase had only heard the tail-end of that conversation–when Kiyoshi had described everything he could remember about the Core compound, and that some men had complained about a “pink-haired bitch.” When Nick had translated that line to a barely conscious Adam, the man had jumped out of bed before fainting to the floor.

Between the gang, the police, and the missing hacker, Ayase could barely keep track of everyone involved. Her eyes wandered back to the briefcase. Those rows of tiny, deadly vials.

And now they had Pitch. Enough to drive Core to murder.

“Takeshi is right,” Zayd suddenly said, his voice finishing Ayase’s thoughts. “This will be war.”

The room went quiet. Ayase swallowed.

Takeshi grabbed his hoodie. “I’m outta here,” he snapped as he slid his arms through the sleeves. “Byakko’s not gonna sort its shit without me.”

“But…it’s too dangerous out there for you!” Daniel said quickly. He looked to Jo for help.

Jo shakily reached out to grip Takeshi’s sleeve. “M-Miki thinks you stand out,” he blurted lamely.

Takeshi paused. He raised a pierced eyebrow, the anger in his face melting into curiosity.

“Are you really in Byakko?” he asked. “You’ve been bitching like a baby drowing in his own snot.”

Jo tensed. “I don’t know what you think you can do,” he said in his defense. “Byakko’s not what it used to be. Not according to Miki.”

“Miki, Miki. You got a crush on him or something?” Takeshi sucked on his teeth and pulled up his hood. “Miki plays shit too safe. If Byakko’s gone to hell, it’s probably ’cause he wasn’t willing crack skulls. You can’t win big without risk.” He snapped a finger gun at Daniel. “You. Donald. If you’ve got plans for the Pitch, will that fuck with Core? Enough that my boys would stand a chance against those juiced-up motherfuckers?”

Daniel frowned. “In a manner of speaking. But you can’t fight them head-on, if that’s what you’re–”

“Not gonna fight ’em head-on. We’re burglars, pops.” His mouth slanted in a dark smile. “Byakko always finds a back door.”

Daniel exchanged glances with Zayd. “And you have…a lot of people?” he asked.

“I will in three days. I’ve gotta clean up the sniveling mess that used to be my gang.”

Zayd stepped over to the counter and scraped open a drawer. He dug through a pile of wires until he pulled out what looked like a cell phone and a charger.

“Take this with you,” he said as he brought them to Takeshi. “It was made by Shouri. It’s very…” He struggled for a word. “Private?”

“Encrypted,” Emi offered. “Virtually untraceable. We’ve been using them for a year and never had a problem.”

Takeshi flipped open the phone. “This thing expensive?” he asked randomly.

“There are numbers already programmed in there,” Daniel explained. “And it has a GPS, so be sure to keep it on your person. You can reach us and we can reach you.” He cleared his throat, then added awkwardly, “I’m in there…but under ‘Daniel.’”

“Like the cartoon duck, got it.” He crammed the phone and charger into the front pocket of his hoodie. He raised his eyebrows at Jo, a strangely cheerful question. “You coming, princess? Or you wanna stay with Papa Church?”

Jo paled. He looked around the room, his body shaking slightly. His gaze deliberated on Kiyoshi.

Daniel reached over to grip Jo. “He was at Kiseki,” he told Takeshi. “He shouldn’t be seen with you. And we need to speak to him.” Daniel glanced at Ayase and Sachi. “We need to speak with all of you.”

Takeshi sucked his teeth again. “Do what you want. But get better fucking locks, will you? Core could jimmy open your door with a goddamn credit card.”

Ayase’s stomach dropped. Zayd, however, shook his head.

“The church is safe,” he said evenly. “But not because of locks.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “Right, ’cause you’ve got God on your side or whatever.” He grabbed his sunglasses and slid them back on his face. “Just guard the Pitch like it’s your dick. I sat on it for two years–don’t fuck that up in three days.”

“We won’t,” Emi assured him.

Takeshi smiled brightly at her. He mimicked a phone, pointed at her, pointed to himself, then grabbed his crotch.

Emi grimaced. “Good-bye,” she said with emphasis.

Takeshi disappeared into the hallway. A few moments later, the back door slammed shut, muffling a high-pitched chuckle that disappeared into the night.

Daniel sighed. He dropped into the nearest chair, rubbing at his forehead.

“Ayase,” he said tiredly. “Sachi. Come here. And Jo, too–I wasn’t sure you would come back, but now that you’re here, this concerns you.”

Ayase exchanged glances with Sachi. As they approached the kitchen table, Jo’s fingers twitched nervously. Emi went to the back wall to stand with Kiyoshi.

Daniel ran his fingers down his chin. “These past few weeks have been a blur,” he said. “I didn’t want to say anything until we rescued Kiyoshi, but now that he’s here and safe…” His eyes rolled to the open briefcase. “And now that, er, we’re well-equipped to lead him through the end of his addiction, we can properly assess the status of our team.” He cleared his throat. “By team, I mean the church–well, those of us who are connected to it.”

Sachi furrowed his eyebrows. “Okay,” he said carefully.

Daniel took a moment. “Now is the time,” he murmured, “to tell us if you want to leave.”

Jo’s fingers twitched again. Daniel gestured to Emi and Kiyoshi.

“Kiyoshi will remain here for the time being, but we can offer him the same after the Pitch is out of his system. You’ve all been pulled into something extremely dangerous that encompasses at least all of Tokyo. If you have family or friends in another country, we can put you on a plane to go to them immediately. If you don’t know anyone outside of Japan, we can send you to a church, or synogogue, or mosque in Europe, or a temple in China, for example–we have a number of places that would take you in, and Zayd will send you with a generous stipend so you can become independent as soon as you’re ready.”

Daniel looked up at Ayase. “To be perfectly honest, all of you have been enormously helpful since the kidnapping. We’re in a better position to challenge Core than we ever expected at this point because you’ve lent us your talents, your dedication…” His gaze trailed to Jo. “And your…surprises. Nick has already laid out rough plans for the future and he wants you in it. All of you,” he said a bit louder, so Kiyoshi could hear.

“But you’re also very young. Except for Nick, the rest of us came to Tokyo deliberately, sent by the Church to deal with Core before their reach extends too far. We’ve accepted the risks and are prepared to…well, die, if it comes to that.” Daniel smiled sadly. “We don’t intend to become martyrs, but we’ve made peace with that possibility. We’re not asking you to do the same.”

Daniel paused, leaving the room in heavy silence. Jo clenched and unclenched his hands, his gaze falling to the floor. Sachi frowned nervously.

But Ayase, for some reason, felt strangely calm. The weight of the silence seemed to invert around her, leaving her with an almost giddy lightness. She was outside her body, staring down at a room full of grave adults who knew what they were asking was completely unreasonable.

Because that was what they were doing–asking. They would’ve just handed her a plane ticket if they didn’t care. But they did care.

They wanted her. Nick wanted her.

“Good girl!”

Ayase remembered what it felt like to fill that alley, descending on Core operatives while Nick fought by her side. She’d saved him. She’d saved a cocky, burly military man who confidently barked orders at everyone. He never thanked her, but he’d acknowledged her. When she thought about it now, something swelled inside her.

Nick’s behavior had shifted over the last few weeks, and the terror and rage she’d felt when he’d trapped one of her bugs seemed like a lifetime ago. He didn’t treat her like a bug in a jar anymore. She was a member of the team. Capable, and dangerous.

“You’ve never seen her when she’s a full swarm, Sachi!”

Powerful.

Blood pumped through Ayase’s veins. As Daniel sheepishly pulled at his sleeves, Ayase’s mind wandered back to the word he’d used.

They’re ready to become martyrs. Ayase licked her teeth, trying to subdue the spite that bubbled up from her stomach. They’re asking me to be a martyr.

Some sick part of her wanted to return to her old Children’s Home just to throw that in the nuns’ faces.

For some reason, Ayase wasn’t scared. She’d spent her life terrified of the world and all the unknowns it held. But now, when real danger was put in front of her, she didn’t feel threatened at all.

Being a martyr meant she would have to die fighting for a cause. Core would have to kill her. Those men in sunglasses, with their guns, screaming and running as she descended in a deadly cloud.

She wasn’t sure they could.

A heady, unfamiliar surge clouded her vision. Before it overwhelmed her completely, Sachi spoke.

“You said this church is safe,” he said. “But not because of locks.”

“Oh…yes.” Daniel gestured to the hallway that led to the front of the building. “We’re a public part of the community, even if our machinations against Core are secret. If Core didn’t attack us during their very public display of aggression, there must have been a reason for it. As we discussed earlier, they may not consider us a true threat or something may be protecting us. Touya acknowledged us, so I don’t think Core is completely unaware of us…it’s difficult to tell at this point.”

He jerked a thumb at Zayd. “We’ve told you a bit about Zayd’s power, haven’t we? And a few of you saw it on the rescue mission. He’s capable of neutralizing sudden threats very easily–it has an awful backlash, of course, but we have systems in place if he has to use it to stop an attack.” Daniel squirmed slightly. “And there’s…something else. Something less tangible.”

Ayase waited. Zayd let out a breath through his nose and looked away.

“I think I have a bodyguard,” he said.

Ayase furrowed her brow. You think you have a bodyguard?

“You mean Adam-san?” Sachi asked.

“No. Adam is a skilled fighter and will protect you, but I’m not speaking of him.” Zayd folded his arms and looked to the ceiling. “It is hard to explain. When I decided to come to Tokyo, I was honest about the danger, and my father was furious. He did not want me to risk my life in a foreign country.” He slanted his mouth. “My father is…very rich. He said he would have me brought back against my will, that he could pay an organization to track me down. We had a very bad fight. I did not leave with his blessing, although he agreed that he could not force me to stay. But he said he would not allow his child to die, even in the name of God.”

His green eyes dropped back to the room, focusing on Ayase. “Do you remember the rescue mission?” he asked. “When we were waiting for Nick in an alley, and some men came to attack us but were stopped by something?”

In the rush and confusion of that terrible afternoon, Ayase had genuinely forgotten that part. She blinked.

“I have been in Japan for six months. I have had the feeling that someone is watching me.” Zayd tapped his fingers under his elbows. “I was in a small car accident shortly after I came here. I woke on the sidewalk, like someone had pulled me from the car. The police and paramedics said none of them did that. And I live in an apartment complex, where one day a burglar broke into the building but never continued past the lobby…he was found unconscious on the floor, and someone with no name had called the police.” He sighed. “After what happened in the alley, I am now quite sure. My father paid someone to secretly protect me.”

Jo cringed. “Paid who?” he asked incredulously.

Zayd shrugged. “I have tried speaking with my father, but he tells me nothing. We have a guess, but it’s safer if we do not tell you.”

“What’s important,” Daniel continued, “is that right now, Zayd may be one of the safest people in Tokyo. And he’s going to stay at the church from now on.” Daniel rapped on the table with purpose. “Which means that if Core tries to attack us here, and none of us can stop them, and Zayd’s power can’t stop them, then his bodyguard probably will.” He looked up at Zayd. “How many people did this bodyguard stop in the alley?”

“Five men. With guns.”

Jo audibly swallowed. He clenched trembling fists.

“Fine,” Jo said darkly. “But that’s a lot of responsibility to throw onto some…invisible bodyguard you think is helping you. What if it’s someone from Core stalking you, keeping you alive so they can recruit you later?” He gritted his teeth. “And even if it isn’t! What if it’s just one guy? What if Core sends an army to burn this place to the ground?!”

Sachi turned to Jo, concern creasing his brow. “Jo…”

“Perhaps nothing,” Zayd answered evenly. “We will do more to increase the security of this church, but there is no guarantee.” His green eyes softened. “Which is why we will help you leave the country if you wish.”

Jo grunted some sort of sound behind his teeth, but didn’t reply. His fingers twitched by his sides.

“I…I need a cigarette,” he muttered.

Daniel jumped to his feet. “Of course! You poor thing.” He rested an arm around Jo to guide him to the hallway. Jo shrugged away from the contact. “Whatever helps you think. You can use my room, if you’d like.”

Jo muttered some vague answer. As Daniel led him out, Zayd lowered himself into a chair.

Ayase clenched her jaw.

Whatever helps you think, she repeated in her head. Whatever helps us decide to stay or leave.

Ayase felt that strange calm settle over her again. Kiyoshi and Emi were still in the back, against a wall–they stared at each other, and Emi was either mouthing something to him or whispering very quietly. He frowned and scratched his head.

“Ayase?”

Ayase turned to Sachi. A mix of feelings twisted his brow. He seemed hesitant, obviously, but there was something guarded about the way he looked at her. Like he was…confused, maybe. Or he saw something on her face that he didn’t want to tell her about.

She absently ran a hand over her mouth.

Sachi chewed on his lower lip. “Can we talk?” he asked.

It was almost laughably predictable.

But this new feeling, this new…strength inside her made his tired request sound quaint.

“In the sleeping room?” she asked.

“Probably a good idea.”

She led the way. She was so lost in her new fog, so tangled in the intricacies of what Daniel and Zayd had told her that she barely noticed fingers closing around her arm. When she stepped in the room and turned around, she found herself staring into Sachi’s shocked face.

Ayase stopped. Sachi’s fingers, gentle and almost apologetic, unclenched from around her arm.

“Y-you’re gonna stay,” he blurted.

Ayase recoiled. Was that a request? An order?

He hadn’t said it like either.

Sachi dropped his hands to his sides, an edge of panic creeping into his voice. “You’re not scared?” he asked quickly. “Daniel-san said…I mean, they’re offering you a chance to start over. You wouldn’t have to keep using your power, and if you didn’t want to go alone, Jo could go with you…or maybe Kiyoshi? Or maybe me, if I don’t…I mean…”

He swallowed. “But you’re gonna stay,” he said weakly.

Ayase opened her mouth, but confusion gummed up the words in her throat. He’d touched her. He’d read her.

“I’m not…sure,” she answered slowly. “I haven’t even thought about it yet.”

Sachi visibly deflated. He looked away.

“No offense,” he murmured, “but in the time I’ve known you, you’ve never felt like that. And I’ve been reading feelings my entire life, Ayase.” He sighed. “You’ve let something go. And it’s not relief about the chance to leave Japan–it’s too aggressive to be that. You feel…powerful here.” He flicked his dark eyes up. “And you like it.”

Ayase’s defenses rose, her long-standing resentment at his invasions taking over. But it had morphed a bit. It wasn’t her space she wanted now, was it? No. Not anymore.

It was her autonomy.

“I haven’t even thought about it yet,” she repeated firmly. “And no offense, Sachi, but feelings and decisions aren’t the same thing.”

Sachi threw up his hands. “I’m sorry!” he blurted. “I-I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything! You’re right, this is the kind of thing you need to think about before…” He trailed off. He abandoned his apology to chew on his lower lip.

Ayase’s heart pounded in her chest, strangely anxious.

“Are you staying?” she asked. “It sounds like you already made a decision.”

Sachi smiled weakly. “Not exactly,” he admitted. “It sorta…depends on what the rest of you say.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. For an extremely personal decision, she was a bit surprised he would say that.

But maybe I shouldn’t be.

He pushed up his glasses to rub his eyes. “I’m terrible at foreign languages,” he offered. “And I have a life here, even if it’s sorta…in shambles right now. After everything Daniel-san’s done for me, I feel like it wouldn’t be right to leave, if he honestly thinks I can help him.” He squinted. “But if there was a good reason for me to go, like you or Jo or Kiyoshi didn’t want to move somewhere alone…”

Ayase pulled back. “Are you serious?” she asked without thinking. “We’ve only known you for a few weeks!”

Sachi colored slightly. “But we’ve been through a lot,” he mumbled.

Every time Ayase thought she’d seen the limit of Sachi’s friendship, he delivered another ridiculous act of kindness to her feet. Something welled up in her chest.

“Y-you said you think I’m staying,” she said quickly. “But you look disappointed.”

Sachi’s blush deepened. “I don’t…” He swallowed, then tried again. “I don’t, um…want you to get hurt in all this.”

She stared at him, incredulous.

Me get hurt?

Her eyes unconsciously fell to her left arm. The patches of thin skin had already improved since that morning; with her short sleeve, and from that angle, she couldn’t see the evidence at all. And the last time she’d lost insects in her swarm, after attacking Nick and Daniel…how long had it taken for her arm to heal completely? A day or two?

Sachi knew that. They’d even talked about it–how it seemed like her insects, for whatever reason, were difficult to kill and regenerated quickly. If Sachi didn’t want people getting hurt, she was the last one he needed to worry about.

Unless…he wasn’t being rational.

As she watched him squirm, the flush under his cheeks spreading down his neck, something tugged at Ayase’s heart.

“Sachi?”

Ayase froze. Sachi had left the door open, and now a very unexpected figure slumped against the doorframe. Sachi whipped around, the red draining from his face.

“Kado!” he blurted. “Y-you’re out of bed!”

Kadoyuki pushed himself weakly from the doorway, his arms shaking with the effort. He’d put his school jacket on over his robe, although the buttons were undone; sweat stuck wet patches of the robe to his frail body. The unattached needle for the IV was still taped to his hand.

Ayase suddenly realized she could feel his sweaty skin. She stiffened like a deer in headlights.

Kadoyuki’s reddened eyes caught hers. He lifted one hand and opened his fist.

Her insect sat on his palm, a captured spy.

Humiliation flooded through her. When Sachi stared at her in surprise, Kadoyuki shook his head, grunting some sort of negative.

“If you were checking on Adam-san,” he murmured, “he’s still asleep. But he got up to drink something a few minutes ago, so I think his concussion’s okay.”

What?

Ayase stopped at that. She remembered the sick room in the moments before Takeshi’s arrival. Kadoyuki had stared at her insect, his beads clinking in his hands.

Kadoyuki offered the insect back. Ayase awkwardly flew the bug to her and reabsorbed it into her shoulder.

Sachi walked over to Kadoyuki, reaching out to help him before stopping his hand in the air. Kadoyuki stared at that hand and recoiled.

“S-sorry,” Sachi said quickly. “I won’t…I’m sorry.” His eyebrows creased. “Are you feeling better? You’re not as pale as you were.”

Kadoyuki looked up at Sachi, the skin creasing around his eyes. “C-can I stay here?” he suddenly asked. “At the church?”

Sachi froze. “Did…Daniel-san talk to you?”

“I want to stay. Can I?” Kadoyuki’s mouth trembled as his eyes grew glassy. “P-please?”

Something cracked in Sachi. His shoulders slumped as an audible burst of air rushed out of his lungs.

Ayase saw it again. That strain. That…desperation Sachi carried whenever he spoke to Kadoyuki. But it wasn’t pained anymore. Sachi reached out and gripped the doorway, an obvious deflection from what he actually wanted to do with his arms.

“Of course,” he breathed, heartbreaking relief in his voice. “Of course you can stay.”

Kadoyuki blinked, sending a few tears down his face. “Will they let me?” he asked weakly.

Sachi’s fingertips, on the doorframe, turned white.

“I’ll talk to them,” Sachi said quickly. “And if there’s a problem, I’ll fix it. Okay? Whatever it takes.”

Kadoyuki hiccupped. As he pulled his jacket more tightly around himself, Ayase found concern snake into her thoughts.

If Zayd hadn’t used the handcuffs, and if Daniel had offered him a plane ticket, maybe the church had dropped their suspicions of Kadoyuki. But after what Nakajima had put him through, she was surprised he wanted to stay.

Still…he’d been praying in the sick room. If Kadoyuki was Catholic, maybe he considered the church safe, even after they’d assaulted him. And he didn’t know what they’d done while he was unconscious. They’d given him medical attention and Nakajima had left–maybe that was all he needed to make his decision.

And Sachi…

The look on Sachi’s face squeezed Ayase’s heart. His desire to help was painfully transparent. Surely Kadoyuki saw that.

Kadoyuki covered his mouth as he started to sob. He leaned against the doorframe, sheltered by the arc of Sachi’s arm.

“It’s okay,” Sachi breathed. “Don’t worry–you can stay.”

Ayase tightened her jaw. While Sachi assured Kadoyuki that he had nothing to fear, she watched the smaller boy squeeze shut his eyes.

She was still confused. Something was off.

His tears dripped to the floor, but not in relief.

****************

Jo sincerely didn’t want to go to the priest’s bedroom. He felt crowded, claustrophobic. He needed air. But considering the threats in the world outside, he didn’t dare step foot outside the building.

He squirmed from Daniel’s hold in the hallway. “Can I…get somewhere a little more open?” he asked. Somewhere away from you? he added silently.

Daniel paused. “We’ve kept our public front closed for the past few days,” he said after a moment. “So it’s empty out there.”

Public front. “The place you do service?” Jo asked.

Daniel nodded.

“I can smoke out there?”

Daniel smiled sadly. “When we’re open, we’re open to the entire community. People have done worse than smoke here.”

Whatever–it was good enough for Jo. Daniel led Jo through a door. Beyond it was a large room, filled with rows of pews that led to a front altar and a cross. Jo saw a thick, wooden plank barring the double doors to the outside.

But the windows. Large mosaics of colored glass lined the stone walls, low enough to be chest-height. Despite the hour, the glow from streetlamps and nearby business flooded through the glass and sent multicolored beams to paint the quiet pews.

Jo cringed. “Can’t you board up those windows?” he asked darkly. “Or at least cover them?”

Daniel hummed and gripped his chin. “I suppose we should,” he mused.

Jo wondered, as he had before, why no one on Earth seemed to have a self-preservation instinct. Well, except for Miki, but now Takeshi was planning to shit all over that, too. Jo sighed and irritably shook his pack of cigarettes.

“If I scream,” he muttered, “that means Core got me.”

Daniel chuckled awkwardly. “Don’t worry,” he assured him. “If you stay inside, you’ll be fine.”

They were training Kiyoshi to be a sniper, Jo wanted to retort, but decided it wasn’t worth it. Daniel patted Jo and left, letting the door swing shut behind him.

Jo sighed. He slid a cigarette between his lips and lit it with slightly shaking fingers. He took a long drag, closing his eyes as he focused on the soothing cloud of poison that filled his lungs.

He released. As smoke tumbled over his lips, the moment’s reprieve sifted away. He fell hard onto a pew and dropped his head into his hands.

I’m gonna die here.

His stomach did another backflip, adding to the nausea that had been building for days. He almost wished he could just puke. Would that give him relief from the doom that roiled inside him?

His mind wandered to a bulimic foster sister he’d had in junior high. His esophagus clenched, forcing the bile back down.

Jo smoked in silence as the minutes ticked away. His mind was a tangle of ideas, knotted into clumps he couldn’t start to unravel. He had too much information and not nearly enough. As he ground his third cigarette butt into a portable ashtray, he acknowledged that time alone wouldn’t give him his answer. He had to take a leap and deal with whatever psychotic shit it brought him.

He gritted his teeth. They blocked the new cigarette he slid between his lips.

He hated leaps. That was why he always planned around them, dammit.

Jo ran his hands through his hair as he pulled in another drag. The church had offered him an out. A plane ticket to a foreign country. It was an idea he had toyed with earlier, but now that it stared him in the face, he was especially tempted. He could literally leave everything behind–Byakko, Touya, Core–and start over somewhere new. The priest had mentioned Europe. Jo had always fantasized about living in Italy.

But it didn’t solve the moral conundrum he’d been drowning in. Jo knew he was important in the fight against Core. Most of it he attributed to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but there had to be more to it than that. Touya wouldn’t have kept stalking him otherwise. And if he fled the country, he might end up doing the exact thing he was trying to avoid – seriously screwing over everyone he knew.

But Jo didn’t want to die.

He didn’t want to die.

Mitsuko’s voice echoed in his ears. “Everyone ends up dead,” she teased.

Jo arched backward in frustration, his head flopping back on his neck. “But not so soon!” he snarled into the empty church.

The door creaked.

Jo stopped. He lowered his face to see Ayase, of all people, peeking through the door.

She frowned. “Oh,” she murmured. “Did you see a backpack out here?”

Jo stared at her. As her eyes trailed over the front line of pews, something overcame him. He sat up.

“A-Ayase,” he blurted.

Her gaze snapped back to him. “Yeah?”

He gestured with his head. “C’mere.”

Ayase furrowed her eyebrows. Jo licked his lips, reminding himself he wasn’t talking to Byakko.

“P-please.”

Ayase stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her. She walked up to Jo and stared down at him expectantly.

It was typically severe. Well, he knew she could be severe, but maybe she wasn’t always like that. He didn’t actually know her very well.

He jerked a thumb at the pew. “You can sit down.”

Ayase let out a breath. She sat beside him, still staring.

Jo took a long drag. He deliberated for a few seconds on how to word his question, then figured it wasn’t worth it to beat around the bush.

“Are you staying?” he asked.

Ayase’s gaze dropped to the floor. She dug her fingers into her thighs, causing an audible little scrape of fingernails on denim. When she looked back up, her eyes had hardened.

“Yes.”

Jo felt his stomach sink again. “C-can I ask why?” he croaked.

She frowned. “There are…reasons,” she murmured. “I think I could help here.”

“With those…bees of yours?”

“They’re not bees. But yeah.”

Jo still didn’t fully grasp the whole bug thing. Kiyoshi had explained it to him excitedly, after the rescue mission–Ayase could use them to spy, she could use them to sting people, and if she became an entire swarm, she turned into thousands of them. Kiyoshi hadn’t seen the swarm himself, but he talked about it like a kid shaking a wrapped birthday present. It was like a comic book, he squealed. Like a video game.

Like a nightmare.

Considering the bugs had been Ayase’s big secret, Jo wasn’t surprised she was awkward. The severity, the defensive attitude with Sachi were probably signs of long-term paranoia. Jo could understand that. Hell, now he could understand that more than he wanted to.

He took another drag. “Do you think it’s really safe here?” he asked.

Ayase let out a breath. “Daniel-san seems to think it is,” she replied. “I haven’t thought about it much.”

Jo froze. A few ashes fluttered down from his cigarette.

“You haven’t thought about it much?” he repeated. “How the hell long have you been staying here?”

“Uh…since Kiyoshi’s kidnapping.”

“And you haven’t gone insane worrying about–“ Jo cut himself off. The expression on Ayase’s face darkened, killing the words in his throat.

She looked away. “I was worried about people finding out about the insects,” she said quietly. “I never thought much beyond that.”

Jo stared at her. His mind went back to Daniel’s speech, and the way he’d described Zayd’s supernatural power. It was half of his argument for why the church was safe, right? That Zayd could knock himself out along with everyone near him.

It wasn’t much of an argument. Not if Zayd knocked out friends and allies along with enemies. And the whole “invisible bodyguard” thing sounded too ridiculous to be true.

But there was a way to keep the church safe. A surprisingly obvious way. And Jo, so lost in his struggles to solve his problems alone, had been blind to the other resources around him. There had been a juggernaut of a force under his eyeline all along.

And she was sitting right in front of him.

Jo shakily took a drag as nerves locked his muscles. “Uh…your swarm,” he asked, trying to sound casual. “How hard is it for you to turn into that?”

Ayase frowned. “The whole swarm? It just, um, happens. Sometimes by itself.”

“But if you were trying to turn into it.”

She shook her head. “Then I just make it happen. It’s not hard or anything.”

“And you can…sting people or whatever? How effective is that?”

Something danced through Ayase’s eyes. A bit of color flooded her face as she tightened her jaw.

“Effective,” she said with unusual confidence. “I helped Nick take down a bunch of Core operatives with guns.”

Shit.

How had he never thought of this before? He’d been told about Ayase’s ability after Kiyoshi had gone to Core. Jo had technically known for weeks. But it had been so bizarre, so unexpected that Jo had written it off as one more supernatural complication he didn’t understand.

But it wasn’t complicated. Ayase could turn into a swarm of killer bees.

A swarm of killer fucking bees.

Jo took another shaky drag. “And you’re…staying with the church,” he repeated. “You’re sure.”

Ayase furrowed her brow at him. “Pretty sure,” she murmured. “Is that all you wanted to ask?”

A voice in the back of Jo’s mind, the terrified voice that always screamed about his imminent death, gave a tiny but welcome sigh of relief.

He ground out the cigarette in his ashtray. “No,” he said, trying to rally his more rational side. “No, I…I want to know why you decided to stay.”

“I already told you.”

Jo shook his box of cigarettes to loosen a single stick. “You think you can help,” he agreed. “But why take that kind of risk?”

Ayase screwed her mouth downward. When she said nothing more, Jo caught the stick in his lips and pulled it free of the box.

“Is it Sachi?” he asked. “Is he staying?” He lit the edge of the cigarette and snapped the flame away. He raised an eyebrow. “And you want to be with him?”

Ayase blinked. The skin creased around her mouth.

“I guess that’s part of it. But I kinda…made my decision before he did. And he’s staying because he wants to be with everyone.”

Jo doubted that Sachi considered Ayase just part of “everyone.” That guy had been on her since the first day of school. And for all he claimed to just be after her friendship, it was obvious, at least to Jo, that Sachi had fallen hard.

“Then…are you staying to be with everyone?”

Ayase slumped back in the pew, visibly frustrated. “I have no idea who’s staying,” she snapped. “I’m staying because it’s the right thing to do, okay?”

Jo stopped. He stared at her for a minute.

She wrinkled her nose. “What?”

Jo pulled the cigarette from his mouth. “That’s it?” he asked dumbly.

“That’s a big part of it, yeah.”

“Then…you think leaving is the wrong thing to do?”

Ayase scowled. “What kind of a question is that?” she snapped. “It’s a really personal decision–leaving isn’t wrong. But the church is trying to take down Core, which is obviously a good idea, and I think I can help.” She clenched her hands. “I was leaning toward staying, and when I thought about it logically, I realized staying was the right thing. So I’ll stay.”

Jo didn’t know what to say. As Touya’s voice echoed in his ears, as the memories of the last few weeks crashed down on him, he sped through every line of reasoning that had torn him apart.

Jo didn’t consider himself a terrible person. He wasn’t a good person, obviously, but he had lines he wouldn’t cross. He’d been faced with those lines so many times lately that he’d turned himself inside-out trying to figure out where he stood. With Kiyoshi, with Byakko, with Touya…he didn’t want to hit a point where he was actually evil.

Jo’s fingers shook. He pushed the cigarette back into his mouth and took several quick puffs.

Ayase squinted at him. “Can I go now?” she asked.

A lump rose in Jo’s throat.

“…you break down a door in the middle of an ambush to save Miki’s life.”

“You’re a good guy! A really good guy!”

“You’re the best kid ever, you hear me?”

Jo swallowed hard. They were wrong about him. He knew that. And that killed him a little, if he had to be honest. They were all wrong.

But maybe he could make them right.

Jo blinked his burning eyes. When he looked up at Ayase again, her shoulders curled back defensively, he felt a terrifying lightness sweep away his thoughts.

He had to make a leap. There was no way to think his way through this. He had to take a leap and deal with whatever came his way.

“Everyone ends up dead.”

Jo knew, logically, that staying with the church could get him killed. Going with Touya could get him killed. There was nothing Jo could do that would guarantee that he not get killed.

So as he sat there, in a mosaic of colored light with a girl he barely knew, he wondered about the path he’d never truly considered.

Instead of not getting worse, he could try to get better.

Ayase cleared her throat. “Jo?” she asked, her voice echoing in the quiet.

He could try to be better.

Jo held his breath.

Fuck Touya. That guy scared Jo shitless.

“I-I’ll stay,” Jo croaked.

Ayase blinked. Jo sat up, tentative resolve building inside him. “I’ll stay,” he repeated, like it was the biggest accomplishment of his life.

Ayase smiled awkwardly. She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Um…good for you?” she offered.

A sense of camaraderie tugged at the corners of his lips. Stoned Byakko laughter echoed in his head as he unconsciously raised a fist.

Ayase stared at it. She licked her lips, made her own fist, and gently tapped it against Jo’s. She smiled back, clearly proud of herself.

A loud thump bled through the wall from the direction of the kitchen.

Jo stiffened. As he snapped his head toward the door, the sound of running feet and overlapping voices leaked through the wood.

“Kiyoshi?!” cried Emi’s muffled voice. “Did he say he felt sick?! Kiyoshi!”

Ice ran through Jo’s veins. As he jumped to his feet, Ayase did the same. Emi’s increasingly panicked cries sent daggers to Jo’s gut.

Here we go, Jo thought as his heart pounded in his ears. His fingers twitched. Get your shit together, Jo.

It was time to leap.